If You Hate Change, You Are Not Doing It Right

I have to tip my cap to you! You read the title of this post, and even though it had the word change in it, you continued reading. As a reward, I want to present you with 6 strategies that will help you get your mind right when change is imminent in your life.

Over the past few years, my mantra for this topic of change has been that “people don’t resist change, they just resist being changed.”   We all know that our organizations have to change to stay competitive in the marketplace. How many of us go into a grocery store or a pharmacy and have the person checking us out actually press buttons to get the cash drawer to open?  Not many anymore, right? To that end, how many of you paid cash for any of your purchases last month? Times and technology change, and they change fast.

We don’t always resist change, but we tend to rebel against ourselves being changed. The idea of being changed means that we must leave behind the status quo to become something new. 

For example, I don’t resist the idea of needing to lose 10 pounds, but I don’t want to give up the potato chips that I eat with my lunch. I don’t resist the idea of needing to exercise, but I don’t want to get up an hour early to do it. I know I need to stay calm when something doesn’t go my way, but I don’t really want to make an appointment with a coach to work on my issues.

My 6 Strategies for Adapting to Change:

  1. Get Your Mind Right. It is important for you to feel some positive emotions around your feelings of change. If you feel anxious, what do you need to do to turn this anxiety into a more positive sort of excitement?

    • Howard Gardner in his book Changing Minds reminds us to prepare for the barriers that will come when we make changes to ourselves.

    • Anticipate these obstacles and the emotions that will come with them. Then as they happen, you will not be surprised, and they will not have the triggering effect on you they otherwise could have had.

  2. Commit to Being Changed. There is no better way to do this than to write it down. I think the first step after becoming aware of a change that you need to make is to commit to it.

    • Why not write down what is being changed and share it with a few people? Then you are held accountable.

  3. Understand Your Change Preference.

    • Some of us actually love the idea of change and innovation. We are the first in line when new technology is launched. Others of us are much more conservative and we are more comfortable with what we already know and is predictable.

    • Where most of us actually sit though when it comes to our preferences around change is somewhere in the middle. Researchers call these folks pragmatists, and they might not be the ones who are first in line for new tech, but they certainly will buy the current model before the next one launches (or soon thereafter). 

  4. Value Your Change Preference and Act. My good friend Joe Laipple in his book Rapid Change urges leaders to look for natural consequences when they are making changes. Part of valuing something is weighing the positive and negative attributes.

    • So those of you who hate change may appear cautious and you may move slowly so as to not be hurt by the change. However, on the flip side, you can be seen as inflexible and not wanting to work with others.

    • You all know the positive and negative sides of your change preferences, and you find a lot of value in your approach to change. So, with what you know about yourself, find some positive natural consequences while you are changing.

      • Rapid Change recommends things like having fun, making it easy, making it simple, making it quick, and having it feel effortless. As you are changing, the more simple and positive you keep it, the more your desire to act will be. 

  5. Plan to Be Resilient. No change process ever goes 100% the way it was planned. There are always things that get in the way, barriers to overcome, and stressors that will try and limit your effectiveness. There are three big ideas to consider when it comes to being resilient:

    1. Stay committed. Life is meaningful even when it is hard. It was worth it for you to start the change, so stick with it.

    2. Stay challenged. Change is supposed to be hard, that is the whole point. Don’t quit because it is hard. Finish and celebrate how hard it was.

    3. Stay in control. With this change, you believe it is the right thing to do and you are making sure you will make a difference in the world. Do things like managing your impulses, getting enough sleep, and eating, right. Have some fun with the journey.

  6. Celebrate Your Wins Often. We need to stop looking at change as an event and look at it as more of a process. Doctors do not give newly diagnosed diabetic patients shots of insulin for a month and then declare them cured. Diabetes treatment is a combination of behavioral changes that if implemented can extend a person's life because diabetes is chronic.

    • Change is more of a lifetime or a career process Since change often has a longer-term focus, ensure you are recording milestones and when you hit them, and taking the time to celebrate. However, if you don’t quite hit the milestones, why not celebrate the effort you put into trying to make it happen?

Patience and Urgency:

My encouragement for you as a leader is to embrace the feeling of being uncomfortable as you grow and have patience with yourself. If you are feeling resistance to a change, try turning it around so that the feeling becomes more positive and encouraging. As you do this, celebrate the fact that your emotions were telling you to stay where you were, but you saw the urgency and were able to overcome it and change. Remember, if you hate change, you are not doing it right!