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Unlocking Leadership Excellence: 7 Essential Questions Every Leader Should Reflect On

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In the fast-paced world of leadership, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and forget the importance of stepping back to reflect. Yet, purposeful reflection is not just a luxury for leaders; it's a necessity. It's what separates good leaders from truly exceptional ones.

As a leadership coach, I often ask my clients a simple yet profound question: How good are you at spending time in purposeful reflection? The reason for this inquiry is clear: leaders are adept at reflecting on the work in front of them but often neglect critical reflection on the processes that drive that work forward.

Consider this scenario: a leader meticulously reviews the talent in their organization but fails to reflect on their own biases or the overall outcome of their efforts. This lack of introspection can have far-reaching consequences, not only for the leaders themselves but for the entire team.

So, what can leaders do to bridge this gap and cultivate a culture of reflection within their organizations?

It starts with asking the right questions.

Here are seven essential questions every leader should reflect on:

  1. Confirmation Bias: Are you seeking out proof that confirms what you already believe, rather than challenging your assumptions?

  2. Hindsight Bias: Are you relying on outdated information or past mistakes to inform your present decisions?

  3. Gender Bias: Are you unconsciously discriminating against individuals based on gender stereotypes?

  4. Anchoring Bias: Are you allowing past experiences to unfairly influence your perceptions of current situations?

  5. Available Thought Bias: Are you falling into the trap of defending your ideas simply because they were the first to come to mind?

  6. Role Modeling: Do you see yourself as a role model for your team, and are you setting a positive example for them to follow?

  7. Work/Life Balance: Are you unintentionally sending mixed messages about work/life balance by your actions?

Reflecting on these questions isn't just about self-improvement; it's about fostering a more inclusive and effective leadership style. It's about recognizing our own biases and blind spots and taking proactive steps to address them.

As leaders, we owe it to ourselves and our teams to pause, reflect, and strive for excellence in everything we do. So, take some time today or this week to ponder these questions. Challenge yourself to dig deep, confront your biases, and emerge as a stronger, more self-aware leader.

Remember, leadership excellence isn't achieved overnight, but with dedication and reflection, it's well within reach!

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Deeper Questions: A Lesson in Listening and Empathy

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One ordinary day, my daughter Gretchen sparked a thought-provoking conversation with a simple text message to me. Her inquiry was seemingly straightforward: "If the average person had to choose whether to be bored or stressed, which would they pick?" Little did I know, her question would unravel layers of introspection and self-discovery for me.

Initially, I found myself approaching her question from a narrow perspective, juxtaposing stress with relaxation and boredom with energization. Yet, Gretchen's query challenged me to reconsider these concepts in a new light. It wasn't merely about contrasting states of being; it was about understanding the underlying motivations and preferences of individuals.

In hindsight, I realize that my response missed the mark.

Instead of embracing her curiosity and delving into the heart of her inquiry, I allowed my pride to overshadow genuine connection. My knee-jerk reaction reflected more about my insecurities than it did about empathizing with her perspective.

However, Gretchen's graciousness and patience revealed the true essence of our relationship. Rather than admonishing me for my shortcomings, she offered understanding and insight into her intentions. Her revelations from the exchange shed light on the real question behind her initial inquiry.

This experience served as a profound lesson for me TOO.

It highlighted the importance of active listening and empathy in all communication. Too often, we get caught up in our narratives, failing to truly understand the underlying motivations of those around us.

Moving forward, I am committed to honing my skills in deciphering the question behind the question. Realizing that genuine connection lies in the ability to understand and empathize with others' perspectives, I aspire now to approach every interaction with an open heart and a curious mind.

In the end, it's not just about finding the right answer; it's about fostering meaningful connections built on mutual understanding and empathy. And therein lies the true essence of communication and relationships – a journey of exploration and discovery, guided by empathy and genuine curiosity.

Lessons on Leadership From Mom: Culture Matters

I hope you had a wonderful weekend. As we dive back into the work week and our personal development journeys, I'd like to share some invaluable leadership insights gleaned from none other than my mother. Because let's face it, personal growth isn't complete without considering our wellness, and there's much to learn from the nurturing wisdom of maternal leadership. So, let's delve into the profound impact my mother's teachings had on my leadership journey.

LESSONS I learned about leadership from my mom:

Cultivating CULTURE

Growing up, my mother was the epitome of family-centeredness. Our home wasn't just a place for immediate family; it was a hub where grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins converged. My mom, a devoted "stay-at-home mom," created a familial culture steeped in safety and security, nurturing an environment where we thrived as kids.

Organizational culture experts like Dr. Boyd Johnson and Dr. Mike Linville would undoubtedly nod in agreement. After all, as my esteemed former boss, Tom Considine, often reiterated, "Culture eats strategy for lunch." Yet, it's a refrain that needs amplification within organizational settings.

Echoing Edgar Schein's insights, our human nature inherently craves social cohesion and safety. Establishing rules and regulations isn't merely about structure; it's about fostering an environment where individuals feel secure. My mother understood that safety breeds optimal performance, while threats trigger survival instincts, impeding cognitive function and receptivity to leadership.

Leadership, therefore, necessitates a nuanced approach – less about what's said and more about how it's received. My mom's blend of safety and discipline laid the groundwork for growth and well-being within our family unit.

SHOWING UP

In leadership, presence is paramount – it can't be delegated. My parents exemplified this principle, never missing significant life events, whether weddings, funerals, or milestone celebrations. They ingrained in me the importance of being there for others, no matter the circumstances.

Likewise, effective leadership demands active participation in the lives of followers. It's about prioritizing their milestones, meetings, and moments of crisis over personal agendas. By showing up, leaders foster trust and solidarity, strengthening the bond with their team.

EMBRACING Sacrifice

My upbringing in a humble, blue-collar neighborhood underscored the essence of sacrifice in leadership. Despite modest means, my mom ensured I never lacked essentials, fostering an environment of care and support that emboldened risk-taking.

Leadership isn't about privilege or entitlement; it's about selfless giving. Followers keenly observe the sacrifices leaders make – whether staying late to lend a hand or prioritizing their needs over personal leisure. In return, leaders earn commitment, loyalty, and heightened effort from their team.

Remarkably, these values seem scarce in many organizational cultures today. Perhaps therein lies the key: my mom never expected reciprocation. Genuine sacrifice, devoid of expectations, cultivates loyalty and commitment organically.

IN CONCLUSION

Reflect on these insights. Consider how they resonate with your leadership approach. Are there adjustments needed to better align with these foundational principles?

As Edgar Schein aptly puts it, organizational culture and leadership are inextricably linked. By embodying the nurturing ethos of maternal leadership – fostering culture, prioritizing presence, and embracing sacrifice – we pave the path for authentic connection, growth, and success within our teams.

Let's strive to lead with the same grace, selflessness, and wisdom exemplified by the maternal figures who've shaped our lives.

Reference: Schein, E. (2010). Organizational Culture and Leadership. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. (p. 144).

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Embracing Critical Thinking: Beyond Misconceptions and One-Liners

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In a world fraught with discord, where misinformation often fuels our debates, there's one consensus we could strive for - acknowledging Gene Roddenberry's genius. As the mastermind behind Star Trek, Roddenberry not only crafted captivating characters but also imparted profound wisdom through their dialogue.

Amidst the quips and adventures of Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott, and Captain Kirk, it's Mr. Spock's rationality that resonates deeply in today's tumultuous times. His assertion, "In critical moments, men sometimes see exactly what they wish to see," serves as a poignant reminder of our innate biases.

We're prone to cherry-picking facts to fit our narratives, as evidenced by popular misconceptions like the efficacy of Vitamin C in boosting immunity or the visibility of the Great Wall of China from space. However, as Dr. Diane Halpern aptly notes, in this era inundated with information, critical thinking has never been more imperative.

Yet, critical thinking demands more than a cursory Google search. It necessitates introspection and discernment. Take, for instance, the misconception surrounding Vitamin C. While anecdotes may tout its benefits, a deeper inquiry reveals the nuanced truth: our immune systems function optimally without artificial "boosts."

So, before we cling to long-held beliefs or perpetuate anecdotal evidence, let's cultivate humility and curiosity. In a world inundated with noise, it's our commitment to critical thinking that will illuminate the path forward. Let's embrace the humility to say:

“I don’t know, but I am open to learning more.”

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Do You Share These Observations Regarding Leadership Momentum?

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In the ever-evolving landscape of today’s leadership, it is crucial to continually reassess and adapt strategies for sustained success. As we continue to embark on another year of growth and development, it is imperative to reflect on the trajectory of our coaching practices, the relevance of our work, and our fulfillment within our professional endeavors. Let's delve into the currents of leadership momentum and explore actionable insights to navigate these dynamic waters.

As we go through a journey of introspection and planning for the future, it is essential to contemplate the evolution of our coaching practices. Amidst the influx of new clients, questions about the shape and direction of our practice arise. How many new clients will we engage with during the rest of the year? What transformations await both ourselves and our clients? By meticulously examining these inquiries, we pave the way for proactive planning and a mutually fulfilling year.

Moreover, a critical aspect of our professional growth lies in evaluating the relevance of our work with clients. Reflecting on past engagements offers invaluable insights into the effectiveness and significance of our contributions. Are the services we provide still relevant in today's rapidly evolving landscape? Are they meeting the evolving needs of our clients as they navigate their complex organizational challenges?

Momentum

Drawing inspiration from the concept of momentum in personal finance, we can apply a similar principle to assess our professional relevance. Just as our past performance informs future investment decisions, our past endeavors shed light on the trajectory of our impact and effectiveness. By conducting a thorough momentum analysis of our experiences, we can gain clarity on areas of strength and opportunities for growth.

Here are four key observations gleaned from this reflective process:

1. Cultivating Emotional Intelligence: In a world driven by cognitive prowess, emotional intelligence emerges as a cornerstone of effective leadership. These insights resonate deeply, emphasizing the pivotal role of emotional skills in fostering success, character, and meaningful relationships within organizations.

2. Fostering Relational Empathy: Amidst societal polarization, the art of empathetic understanding becomes increasingly scarce. As leaders, transcending our perspectives and embracing empathetic engagement fosters cohesion and collaboration amidst diverse viewpoints.

3. Embracing Flexibility in Ambiguity: In times of upheaval and uncertainty, the ability to adapt and thrive in ambiguity emerges as a defining trait of resilient leadership. Embracing a "new normal" requires a shift towards emotional flexibility and a proactive approach to navigating turbulent waters.

4. Nurturing Talent Connections: Despite economic fluctuations, investing in talent remains paramount for organizational success. Proactive engagement with talent fosters loyalty, innovation, and a robust foundation for future endeavors.

These observations serve as catalysts for meaningful dialogue and introspection.

Do you resonate with these insights, or do you have unique observations to share from your organizational context?

Let's embark on a journey of exploration and collective learning as we navigate the currents of leadership momentum together!

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Embracing Growth: Understanding the Dynamics of Personal Change

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In my coaching practice, a common inquiry I encounter is, “Can people truly change?” It's a query that resonates deeply, especially in organizational settings where the belief persists that individuals are inherently static, like leopards unable to alter their spots. However, science tells us otherwise. With every cell in our bodies regenerating every 7 to 10 years, the potential for change is undeniable.

But beyond the capability for change lies a more nuanced question, “Can people choose to grow?” The answer lies in individual agency and the conscious decision to evolve. Yet, amidst this journey of self-transformation, a crucial consideration emerges.

Will others acknowledge and accept this change?

Reflecting on my experiences, I've witnessed individuals navigating profound transformations for various reasons, encapsulated by three key motivations:

  1. Intentional Evolution: Often, the motivation for change arises from a dissonance between one's intentions and their impact. An example is someone whose communication style inadvertently fosters misunderstanding despite their genuine intentions. Recognizing this misalignment can serve as a potent catalyst for personal evolution.

  2. The Threshold of Pain: For many, change becomes imperative when the status quo no longer serves their aspirations. Whether escaping toxic relationships or unfulfilling careers, the discomfort of stagnation propels individuals towards transformative action.

  3. Aspiration for More: Some individuals aspire for a life of greater significance, driven by an insatiable thirst for growth and opportunity. However, entrenched perceptions and past reputations can impede their trajectory, necessitating organizational support and recognition of their potential.

Despite the myriad of motivations driving personal change, the true litmus test lies in our capacity to accept and embrace these transformations. While we may profess openness to change, implicit biases and entrenched beliefs often cloud our perceptions, hindering genuine acceptance.

Ultimately, the responsibility rests not on changing others but on understanding and supporting their journey towards self-realization. By fostering environments conducive to growth and acknowledging the multifaceted nature of personal evolution, we can cultivate a culture of acceptance and empowerment.

So, the next time you ponder the question of change, perhaps shift the focus inward.

Can you wholeheartedly embrace the transformative journey of those around you?

After all, the true measure of change lies not in its occurrence but in our willingness to embrace it.

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Empowering Success: 3 Coaching Strategies to Boost Self-Efficacy

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In our journey towards success, the questions we ask ourselves hold immense power. As a coach, it is my mission to guide individuals in reframing these questions, unlocking new perspectives and pathways to achievement. Rather than pondering, "What does leadership development look like as an HR Vice President?" we pivot to, "What actionable steps can propel me to my next role within the company?"

Similarly, a sales leader's struggle to balance work and family shifts from, "How do I manage overtime versus family time?" to a more insightful query, "Will the financial gains from working overtime justify time away from my loved ones?"

While strategies like goal setting and resource prioritization are vital, the true catalyst for growth lies in self-reflection and actionable change. Self-efficacy—the belief in one's abilities—is a cornerstone of success, backed by research indicating its positive impact on performance and well-being.

A study in the Consulting Psychology Journal unveils three coaching strategies to bolster self-efficacy:

  1. Invest Time: The duration of the coaching relationship directly correlates with increased confidence. As a coach, recognizing and celebrating each stride toward the coaching objective fuels the individual's self-assurance.

  2. Verbalize Confidence: Vocalizing belief in oneself amplifies the likelihood of goal attainment. Statements like "I've got this" solidify one's resolve, reinforcing their confidence with each verbal commitment.

  3. Ask the Right Questions: Effective coaching hinges on asking questions that prompt self-efficacy statements. While open-ended inquiries foster exploration, suggesting solutions sparks immediate confidence. Providing support also nurtures confidence over time.

When coaching your team, prioritize open-ended questions and supportive guidance. Resist the urge to prescribe solutions; instead, empower individuals to discover their paths to success. By fostering self-belief, you pave the way for greater achievements and fulfillment, both personally and professionally.

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Team Health: Journey to High Performance and Synergy

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A few years ago, I found myself at the helm of a discussion with a high-performing team comprised of industry "top guns." These professionals, with a contact list reaching deep into influential customers, had consistently achieved remarkable results, hitting yearly goals well before the third quarter. However, a crucial realization emerged – true excellence and invincibility arise not just from individual prowess but from the collective health of the team.

TEAM HEALTH

Team health, akin to human health, operates on a delicate balance. Just as extreme performance can have detrimental effects on physical health, overemphasizing certain aspects of team performance without considering the holistic system can lead to short-term success and long-term damage.

Reflecting on this concept, I recalled a conversation with a physician friend actively involved with consulting for athletes. He recounted a meeting preparing marathon runners for a race, where 40% of the physician-runners under 55 had heart stents. High performers, regardless of the discipline, must consider all systems contributing to their performance to avoid breakdowns.

My mission, assigned by the organization, was clear – the team needed to recognize themselves as leaders within the organization, requiring self-awareness and self-leadership. This called for double-loop learning, challenging fundamental assumptions and redefining performance.

exploration and advancement

To shift the team's perspective, we explored two ways to encourage learning:

The exploration involved stimulating innovation through exercises like improving listening skills. By listening intensely, the team learned to understand diverse perspectives within the organization, fostering much-needed synergy.

Advancement, on the other hand, focuses on improving existing processes while incorporating innovation. Unhealthy conflict resolution patterns were identified and addressed. Instead of internalizing issues, the team learned to be assertive and flexible in their conflict styles, fostering a healthier and more productive work environment.

As a leader, caring for your team's health is paramount.

Continually exploring and advancing through learning opportunities will not only improve team dynamics but also pave the way for sustained success and organizational synergy.

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Navigating Goal Challenges: 5 Reflections on the Journey to Personal Growth

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Like many of you, I set ambitious goals for my business, career, and personal life last year. As we approach mid-January 2024, I took a moment to review and assess my progress. In sharing my reflections, I hope to offer insights gained from this reprocess.

The Main Goal: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Time-Bound

Setting a goal that is specific, measurable, achievable, and time-bound is crucial. However, sometimes the journey doesn't unfold as expected. A goal I had was that I aimed to consistently shoot in the mid-80s in golf, but my score of 95 left me frustrated and disappointed. If you're facing similar feelings about your goals, don't get discouraged. Growth often involves setbacks before progress.

5 Lessons I Learned from Not Meeting My Goal:

  1. Development Reflection: I Changed My Tools.
    As I pursued improvement in my golf game, I encountered advice to upgrade my equipment. Reflecting on this, I realized that development takes time, and planning is essential. Allow yourself the grace to navigate through the inevitable time lag in achieving your expectations.

  2. I Received Some Coaching.
    Improvement often requires guidance. Coaching, whether formal or informal, provides new ideas, practices, and accountability. When was the last time you sought feedback and embraced new approaches in your development journey?

  3. I Did Not Practice Regularly Enough.
    Prioritizing practice is key to improvement. Busy months led me to neglect my golf practice, hindering my progress. If development is not a natural strength of yours, regular practice is essential. Consider the expectations you have for yourself and the importance of prioritizing your development.

  4. Practicing Extremes.
    Distinguishing between practice and game time is crucial. I learned that taking extreme practice sessions into the game can yield different results. Finding the right balance between challenging practice and consistent performance is essential for sustainable growth.

  5. Failure As Learning.
    Failure isn't the end; it's just a part of the learning process. While I still haven't hit my golf target yet, the journey has equipped me with the right tools, coaching, and mindset for a breakthrough. How do you view goals when facing setbacks? Optimism is a valuable skill in responding to challenges.

    Embrace Progress, Embrace Grace

    As we step into this new year, take a moment to revisit your development goals. Be honest in your review, and remember, it's never too late to give yourself grace and restart your progress. See you at the top!

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Empowering Your Boss: A Unique Approach to Leadership Development

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During one of my Leadership 360 interviews, a direct report posed an uncommon yet thought-provoking question: "How can I help my boss become a better leader?" This query struck a chord as it showcased a genuine desire to contribute to the supervisor's professional growth—an inquiry I hadn't encountered in my nearly two decades of conducting such interviews.

Navigating the fine line of confidentiality, I recognized the need to offer guidance without compromising the privacy of my client's developmental journey. The direct report's eagerness to support her boss's leadership evolution inspired a tactful response.

My Response

My advice centered on fostering self-awareness—a key element in any leader's development. I proposed that she, with a level of trust and willingness to take some risks, help her boss recognize instances where he exhibited strengths or areas he aimed to improve.

For instance, if the boss acknowledged a tendency to micromanage, she could, at an opportune moment, express her observations: "Boss, it seems like you might be micromanaging right now. Is that intentional?" The ensuing silence suggested contemplation, but her eventual commitment to the idea revealed her willingness to contribute positively.

The essence of my counsel lay in aiding leaders to perceive the change they sought. Encouraging self-awareness proves invaluable in leadership development, offering a profound gift to those aiming to refine their skills.

What About You?

Reflecting on this scenario prompts a broader perspective on personal development. While our focus often revolves around our personal growth, extending support to others can be equally gratifying. Consider shifting from problem-solving to inspiring awareness in those around you.

In conclusion, take a moment to inquire how you can assist your leaders in their development. Their responses might not only surprise you but also invigorate your journey of self-improvement.

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Redefining Resolutions: Crafting Your Leadership Vision for 2024

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Have you ever been told to eat more carrots for better vision? It was a common piece of advice from my mom when I was younger. Despite the wisdom, it didn't prevent me from needing sight correction as I grew older. Similarly, the new year is here and we're bombarded with advice on setting goals, but merely setting them isn't enough.

Sure, resolutions are about firm decisions, aiming to reshape aspects of our lives. Over time, I've crafted various New Year’s Resolutions spanning personal, professional, family, and spiritual realms—and I have always had great intentions. While there is nothing wrong with setting a goal, it can be a bit meaningless if it is not aligned with the vision of who you want to be as a leader. 

Your Future as a Leader

This year, consider adding a new dimension: leadership.

Imagine yourself evolving into the leader you aspire to be. Here are ten thoughts to fuel your contemplation on leadership resolutions for the upcoming year:

  1. Reflect on becoming a great leader, identifying barriers hindering greatness.

  2. Prioritize values over vision.

  3. Balance work and contemplation; less doing, more thoughtful planning.

  4. Define your personal value proposition, akin to a brand's identity.

  5. Identify key networking opportunities within your organization.

  6. Embrace FeedForward—offering solutions rather than just observations.

  7. Break the cycle of negative thinking hindering progress.

  8. Incorporate rest into your work routine for enhanced performance.

  9. Assess emotional intelligence and its impact on reactions.

  10. Develop a sustainable plan for change and seek coaching for accountability.

Embarking on this leadership journey, I anticipate sharing insights and exploring topics relevant to your interests. May this upcoming year be one of productive and effective leadership for you and your loved ones.

Wishing you and your families a new year filled with growth and success.

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Evaluating Leadership Momentum: Reflections, Trends, and Future Pathways

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The holiday period between mid-December and mid-January often sees a lull in new coaching or training engagements. It’s a period I've come to utilize for reflection and planning, a time to ponder on the trajectory of my coaching practice for the upcoming year while working with existing clients and welcoming new ones.

As I stand on the threshold of a new year, pivotal questions arise: How many new clients will I engage with? Who will they be? What shape will my coaching practice take in the months ahead? Contemplating these queries is vital for proactive planning, ensuring a successful journey both for me and my clients.

Beyond client engagements, I dedicate time to scrutinizing the nature of the work I’ve undertaken in the past year. Examining my calendar reveals numerous instances of teaching, training, facilitating, coaching, and content creation. Yet, I confront a challenging query: Is this work still relevant? Is it impactful for those who seek my guidance in fostering leadership within their organizations?

Personal reflection becomes paramount. Analyzing how I allocate my time and comparing it with what truly brings me fulfillment in my professional life is integral. In this pursuit, I borrow from the concept of momentum—an idea not only confined to finance but also applicable to assessing relevance in various domains.

My reflective journaling has led to several observations:

Drawing from a financial newsletter I follow, momentum signifies the tendency for recent performance to persist shortly. Analogous to objects in motion staying in motion, it represents an objective measure for strategizing based on real data rather than impulsive decision-making prompted by fleeting external influences.

Emotional Intelligence Endures: The significance of emotional intelligence remains pivotal in leadership development. Dan Goleman aptly encapsulates this by emphasizing EQ over purely cognitive abilities. Organizations often overlook this crucial aspect while emphasizing skill sets and intelligence.

  1. Relational Empathy Deficit: In our polarized world, understanding diverse perspectives seems to have taken a back seat. Leaders are increasingly entrenched in their viewpoints, neglecting the skill of empathizing and comprehending others' perspectives, causing a rift in ineffective leadership.

  2. Adapting to Ambiguity: Turbulent times necessitate flexibility. Leaders are confronted with ambiguity and change, requiring emotional adaptability and support for their teams amid uncertainty.

  3. Nurturing Talent Connections: The current robust job market underscores the importance for senior leaders to actively engage with and nurture talent within their organizations. This involves more than just assessing returns on investments; it's about fostering connections and understanding the aspirations of the workforce.

I invite you to share your thoughts on these observations or contribute your unique insights about your organization. Let's connect and delve into these observations or explore your perspectives as we embark on the possibilities for next year.

Warm regards,

Scott

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Having the Courage to Speak Truth to Power in Leadership

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in the realm of leadership, a crucial yet daunting task is the ability to communicate truths that challenge the status quo. Henry Kissinger once remarked on the challenge young leaders face when delivering uncomfortable truths to those in positions of authority. This act of 'speaking truth to power' involves presenting contrary information up the hierarchical ladder, often met with potential repercussions that can range from rejection and dismissal to humiliation and isolation.

The weight of this challenge is considerable. Young leaders often find themselves at a crossroads, withholding essential information due to the fear of negative outcomes. However, there exists a significant upside to sharing concealed insights with a leader:

  • Recognition for valuable input

  • Inclusion in decision-making processes

  • Appreciation for displaying courage

  • Acknowledgment of one's contribution

Despite the inherent risk and tension in 'speaking truth to power,' it remains an essential responsibility, influenced by various factors:

  • Organizational culture and its tolerance for information sharing

  • Personal risk tolerance of young leaders

  • The leader's historical response to different opinions

Receptivity of the Leader

The burden of initiating these difficult conversations can be likened to wearing a shirt made of lead. However, the duty lies not solely on the deliverer but also on the receiver—particularly senior leaders—to create an environment conducive to open communication. The senior leadership's ability to foster an atmosphere where individuals feel empowered to share crucial information plays a pivotal role.

In a fast-paced organizational landscape driven by a 'get-it-done-now' culture, the pressure to survive often eclipses the necessity to foster an environment of open dialogue and shared truths. As leaders, it becomes imperative to cultivate a culture and persona that welcomes diverse voices and viewpoints.

5 Actionable steps

Here are five actionable steps for leaders seeking to gather comprehensive information crucial for making well-informed decisions:

  • Slow down your cadence: Rushing through decisions often leads to tunnel vision. Take deliberate pauses, allowing yourself to explore multiple possibilities.

  • Cultivate curiosity: Suspend the need to assert your perspective immediately. Instead, invest effort in understanding others' viewpoints before forming conclusions.

  • Express gratitude: Acknowledge and appreciate inputs, even if they challenge your assumptions. Simple acts of gratitude foster a more inclusive and respectful environment.

  • Reflect: Engage in introspection at the end of each day. Analyze interactions objectively, focusing on understanding motives and responses without defensiveness.

  • Develop your leadership soul: While intelligence and skills are crucial, investing in the inner growth of your leadership persona is equally vital. Explore avenues to nurture and develop your leadership essence.

In navigating the complexities of leadership, embracing the courage to voice uncomfortable truths while fostering an environment that is valuable to such conversations is pivotal. It's in this synergy of openness, reflection, and proactive development that leaders can truly cultivate an atmosphere where every voice is valued and heard.

Homework:

Select one action from the previously mentioned list and practice it consistently for a week. For instance, consciously express gratitude in every interaction or communication you have. Reflect on how this practice impacts your leadership approach, and share your experiences here.

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Empowering Teams: Redefining Leadership in Times of Work Overload

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As the year winds down and the festive season is here, it is common to witness a prevailing feeling among colleagues and team members. Many express sentiments such as:

  • “Let's shelve this until next year; I'm at full capacity for now.”

  • “Our team feels stretched thin with everything happening at the moment.”

  • “There's an overflow of priorities on everyone's plate right now.”

  • “I'm undervalued amidst the chaos; there seems to be a lack of recognition for the small but essential efforts. No one says thank you anymore.”

While reading this, reflect on how you and your team might be feeling:

  • Overwhelmed?

  • Underappreciated?

  • Stressed for various reasons?

Job Crafting and The Research

Amidst these sentiments, a relatively new concept in leadership discussions has emerged—job crafting. This concept of job crafting has been hailed for fostering motivation, self-actualization, and a sense of purpose in work.

Research in The Leadership Quarterly by Elizabeth Solberg and Sut Wong delved into employees' perceptions of their ability to craft their roles amidst work overload. In simpler terms: Can individuals adjust their job responsibilities when feeling overloaded?

Job crafting is often seen as proactive behavior, reflecting self-initiation to instigate necessary changes. However, it is not always anticipative; rather, it is a response to the current workload. Reacting to the present workload seems more common than strategically shaping future responsibilities. The "tyranny of the moment" significantly influences our ability to craft our roles according to our needs.

The study highlights two crucial factors when employees feel overloaded: their perception of a positive resolution and the leader's need for structure.

Considering leadership and follower dynamics, accountability plays a pivotal role. Employees coping with work overload require both adaptability and the initiative to alleviate it.

However, it’s not just the follower's accountability that matters. The leader's control also significantly impacts the team. Research by Dragoni and Kuenzi suggests that leaders who display controlling behavior influence followers to exhibit less freedom or autonomy. Essentially, the more controlling the leader, the less likely the follower will exhibit the freedom to ease work overload.

In times of overwork and stress, maybe the blame doesn't entirely fall on the holiday season or even year-end tasks. Perhaps, it’s the leader's need for control. When leaders exude excessive control, it heightens the workload further, compelling followers to rely more on their guidance.

As a leader, consider this:

  • How can you loosen control of the reins and empower your team?

  • What value might granting your team more freedom bring to the overall effectiveness of your team?

I think that this holiday season, the gift of letting go of control might not only relieve stress for all but also foster a more empowered and productive team dynamic.

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Empowering Leadership Growth: Supporting Your Boss's Development

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In a Leadership 360 interview I did last year, a direct report posed a question that had never been asked in nearly two decades of my coaching career: "How can I help my boss become a better leader?" This unexpected inquiry underscored a profound desire to actively contribute to their supervisor's growth and development.

Confidentiality in my coaching sessions is paramount, yet I sought a way to honor the question without compromising my client's privacy. My response pivoted towards fostering self-awareness, a foundational aspect of leadership growth.

Supporting Your Boss's Development

"I believe the most impactful support you can offer your boss is through fostering their self-awareness," I advised. "If your boss has already highlighted their strengths and areas for improvement, consider gently pointing out moments when those aspects manifest."

Encouraging her to navigate this delicate path of offering feedback, I elaborated with an example: "If your boss has expressed a desire to reduce micromanagement, gently address the behavior at that moment. Help them recognize, without coaching or changing them, when they exhibit such tendencies."

The power of guiding leaders to perceive the change they aspire to make is an invaluable gift.

This experience prompted a broader reflection on our roles in personal development. Instead of solely focusing on our growth, why not explore ways to support others in their journey? Shifting the focus from problem-solving to inspiring awareness of opportunities can spark transformative change.

What about you?

I urge you to consider initiating conversations with your leader about supporting their development. Their response might illuminate new avenues for personal growth and invigorate your self-development journey too. By actively engaging in the growth of those around us, we not only contribute to their success but we may also find newfound inspiration for our personal development.

How can you help your boss grow as a leader today?

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Transforming Work Relationships: The Power of Humble Inquiry

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When a coaching client begins with, "I'm struggling with a person on my team, and our relationship isn't great. Can you give me some advice?" I know an interesting conversation is about to unfold. As a leadership coach, my approach focuses on delving deep into the individual's inner world to help them find the right responses and actions. Rather than serving as an oracle, I try to take on the role of an investigator, asking questions that will guide them toward their own self-discovery.

Unpacking the Complexity:

Conversations about work relationship challenges always lead me to a plethora of questions. Each question below aims to illuminate a different facet of the issue:

  • Why is there a struggle?

    Understanding the root causes is always the first step toward resolving any difficulty.

  • What about this person makes the situation challenging?

    Identifying specific issues can provide insights into potential solutions.

  • Is this a recurring issue with others on the team?

    Exploring whether this is an isolated case or a pattern can be enlightening.

  • How do you define a successful working relationship?

    Clarifying the desired outcome is crucial for setting the right goals.

  • Do you have positive relationships with other team members?

    Contrasting problematic relationships with successful ones can reveal commonalities or differences between team members.

  • Are there external factors affecting the relationship?

    Considering broader contexts can help uncover the bigger picture beyond individual dynamics.

    No matter which question I choose, the answers usually surprise me. For instance, in response to "Why is there a struggle?" I might hear, "This person reminds me of someone from my past who treated me horribly," or "They are a micromanager, so the further I stay away from them, the better."

The Hack: The Art of Humble Inquiry

To effectively coach in these situations, I follow Edgar Schein's concept of "Humble Inquiry." It's about asking questions without preconceived answers and with a genuine interest in the other person. This requires humbling myself, setting aside my needs, and focusing entirely on the person in front of me.

Humble Inquiry Questions

Humble Inquiry questions are simple, short, and open-ended. They ignite curiosity in the conversation. Here are 4 of my favorites:

  1. Can you say more about that?

  2. Can you tell me a little bit more?

  3. Can you elaborate even further?

  4. What was that like for you?

The goal is to encourage the client to unpack their thoughts and feelings. I'm constantly amazed at how exploring the deeper meaning of the question and answer takes the conversation to unexpected places, often full of surprises.

My Number one Tip for Strengthening Relationships

Invite them to lunch. It's that simple. Extend an invitation to the person with whom you're struggling to develop a better connection. The only objective is to get to know them better.

In one case study by Watland, Hallenbeck, & Kresse, (2008) police officers enrolled in an MBA program shared a meal together once a week. More than 69% of the participants indicated that their interactions with each other had positively affected the work of their department.

The initial interactions among participants were built on getting to know each other better. This soon translated to a deeper knowledge and level of trust and the group began relying on each other to solve problems in the work setting.

So, if you are struggling with a relationship, invite them to lunch! What harm can it do? While it may not solve all of your problems, I think you will find if you practice Humble Inquiry, it is a step in the right direction.

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How Does Risk Impact Your Team's Productivity and Results?

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Unlocking the Power of Risk and Understanding 8 Risk Types on Your Team

Do risk and reward go hand in hand, or does reward emerge as an outcome of taking risks? Imagine a scenario within your team where one member is a risk-taker, characterized as 'carefree,' while another is more risk-averse, categorized as 'wary.' Now, the team faces a crucial decision, whether it's about a product launch or structuring a presentation. In this setting, the carefree individual is eager to dive into action, while the wary team member advocates for a more cautious approach.

Team dynamics play a crucial role, and these differing risk preferences can tip the balance or lead to a standstill. Consequently, emotions can run high, and effective communication can become a challenge. The feeling of being stuck often has nothing to do with talent or skill. It stems from the varying risk tolerance of the team members. Risk introduces a unique emotional dimension, akin to the impact of change. Each one of us possesses a distinct risk threshold, and when that threshold is challenged, emotions, anxiety, and fear intensify, influencing our perception of risk in a given situation.

Understanding the 8 Risk Types

  1. Excitable:

    This risk type combines impulsivity and attraction to risk with moments of distress and regret. Excitable people fluctuate between enthusiastic optimism and pessimistic negativity, often responding emotionally to events.

  2. Intense:

    People falling into this category tend to be anxious and worrisome, always expecting the worst. They take decisions personally and can experience intense and drastic mood swings.

  3. Wary:

    Characterized by self-discipline and a focus on risk, wary people are cautious, organized, and prioritize security. They seek predictability and may struggle with making decisions.

  4. Prudent:

    Those in this category exhibit high self-control, preferring established procedures and a prudent, conservative approach. They are cautious and prefer familiarity.

  5. Deliberate:

    Combining calm self-confidence with caution, these deliberate people are well-organized and systematic, balancing risk acceptance with a desire for preparation.

  6. Composed:

    Cool-headed and unemotional, composed individuals remain optimistic and manage stress well. They are not overly impulsive or systematic.

  7. Adventurous:

    Adventurous types combine impulsiveness with fearlessness, often disregarding convention. Their decision-making is influenced by a lack of anxiety and impulsivity.

  8. Carefree:

    Disliking routine and authority, carefree individuals may appear reckless and impulsive. Their objectives may seem vague due to a lack of preparation.

These risk types are derived from the "Compass Risk Type Indicator" by Multi-Health Systems. Using this tool, you can assess the risk types of your team members and gain a comprehensive view of your team's risk profiles. By understanding these risk types, leaders can navigate team dynamics more effectively and leverage the unique risk profiles of each team member.

Nearly every decision involves an element of risk, and various factors influence an individual's willingness to take risks. As leaders, it is essential to be aware of how team members interpret and respond to risk, starting with self-awareness.

So, next time your team faces a decision-making deadlock, consider these risk types and explore whether differences in risk approach could be impacting the team’s productivity and results. Understanding and embracing these differences can be the key to unlocking your team's full potential.

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The Essential Role of Leaders: Being Your Team's Lifeline

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A few years ago, after a much-needed vacation, I decided to set aside some extra time for writing and research. During this period, my interactions with my coaching and training clients were limited to text and phone conversations. Back then, remote work was not as common as it is now, and this transition was quite a novel experience for me.

About 10 days into this remote working experiment, I noticed something unusual. I was beginning to feel a bit down. It wasn't a full-blown depression, but rather a subtle sense of decline in my overall mood. It felt like I was slowly sinking, and this puzzled me. After all, I had just returned from a relaxing vacation, and I had plenty of meaningful work ahead of me.

But, despite all these positive aspects, there it was—a distinct feeling of not having enough connections to sustain my love for my work.

A lifeline, as defined, is a rope or line used for life-saving, typically thrown to rescue someone in difficulties in water or used by sailors to secure themselves to a boat. Life can throw us into situations that give us a similar feeling of sinking or being stuck. When we lack support to anchor us, we can start to feel alone and hopeless.

From time to time, every one of us needs a lifeline of care and compassion from others.

Understanding Basic Human Psychology

It's widely recognized in the field of psychology that the feeling of isolation can be a key determinant for a wide range of human ailments, from depression to even premature death.

In fact, The Wall Street Journal reported that there are surprisingly few public health initiatives to combat loneliness, despite its status as a health risk "riskier to health and survival than cigarette smoking or obesity."

So, is loneliness a bigger health risk than smoking or being overweight?

If loneliness indeed poses a greater health risk than smoking or obesity, it becomes a matter that leaders should pay much closer attention to. Are there individuals within our sphere of influence who desperately need a lifeline?

The Impact on Leadership

In a revealing study published in October 2017 in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, researchers delved into the impacts and categories of social contact, or the lack thereof, that might predict clinical depression. Their findings were illuminating.

They studied over 11,000 people over the age of 50 and found that only face-to-face interaction forestalled depression in older adults. Phone calls made a difference for those with a history of mood disorders but not for others. Surprisingly, email and text messages had no impact at all.

The lifeline that people need, according to this study, is face-to-face interaction.

What Can Leaders Do to Be Part of the Solution?

As leaders, we hold a unique position of influence and responsibility. We can be intentional in providing the lifeline of care and compassion that others may desperately need. Here's how we can adapt a list of steps from Mayoclinic.org, designed to prevent depression, to leader-follower interactions:

  • Become Attuned to Stress: Understand what stress looks like for those on your team. Learn to recognize early signs and be proactive in addressing them.

  • Regular Team Meetings: Schedule regular meetings with your team members, ideally every 1-2 weeks, or as often as possible, taking appropriate COVID precautions. Prioritize these meetings to foster connections and open communication.

  • Listen and Ask Questions: In your interactions with your team, spend most of your time listening and asking questions rather than immediately jumping into "solve mode." Your genuine interest in their well-being can serve as a lifeline of support.

  • Face-to-Face Interaction: Whenever possible, meet with your team members in person. If not feasible, use video chat options like FaceTime or Zoom to maintain a more personal connection.

  • Boost Confidence: Give your team members assurances that you believe in them and their capabilities. Building their self-esteem can be a powerful form of support.

  • Learning from Mistakes: Foster a culture that encourages learning from mistakes. Let your team know that setbacks are part of the journey, and it's an opportunity for growth.

  • Spot Check-Ins: During times of high stress, perform spot check-ins with your team members to ensure they are coping well and provide additional support if needed.

  • Early Support: If a team member seems down or faces challenges, ask about it early. Your proactive approach can be the lifeline they require.

  • Mini-Sabbaticals: Consider offering frequent mini-sabbaticals as a way to rejuvenate and recharge your team's spirit.

How often are you connecting with those you lead? How intentional are you in making connections? Who on your team appears to be struggling and could use the reassurance that you believe in them?

Your lifeline of care and compassion might be precisely what's needed to help your team reach its peak performance. In leadership, as in life, genuine connections and support can make all the difference.

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The Secret to Self-Reflection

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A while back, I had a conversation with a young man who was interested in applying for his first leadership role. This young soul recounted all of his accomplishments to me: bonuses earned, awards won, and recognition given to him by his organization for his outstanding performance.

As he continued to try and convince me that he was ready to take the next step, I sat back and thought, “Why is he trying to persuade me?”

The Conversation Was Quite One-Sided

As I continued to listen during the conversation, my thoughts turned and I realized that he was not trying to convince me, he was trying to convince himself. Even though he had received rewards and recognition, he knew in his heart of hearts that he was not ready for the role. His peers were being promoted all around him, and this caused him to take on their call as his own.

My role as a coach was not to judge whether he was ready or not, my role was to help him explore his reality so that he could make informed decisions about his own life. After he stopped talking, we ate in silence. A long and very uncomfortable pause ensued, and I said. “You're not ready.” My intention was not to judge him, but rather to shock his ignition and get him thinking.

He immediately became defensive. "What do you mean I am not ready?" he asked. Immediately, he launched into his list of accomplishments again. I let him go on until it seemed he was out of breath. When he finished I said, “You have all the WHAT that you need. You have all of your individual contributions. You have shown your skill and capability. I think you might be missing the HOW.”

“What Do You Mean by the How?”

When he asked me this, I turned to one of my favorite modern-day philosophers, Parker J. Palmer, who wrote, “I now know myself to be a person of weakness and strength, liability and giftedness, darkness and light. I now know that to be whole means to reject none of it, but to embrace all of it.”

My young friend was still trying to embrace all of his strengths as an individual contributor. He was still selling to himself the idea that these attributes were enough for him to lead others. He was also not being completely honest with himself or in his description of his accomplishments. He was grandstanding, and frankly, it made me uncomfortable just listening to it.

So I asked him, “Would you tell me about a time when you worked on a project that did NOT succeed?” Long silence again. I could tell he was stuck.

The thinking in his head must have been like a game of chess, calculating his next best move. He was probably thinking that if he told me about an unsuccessful project then he was admitting to failure and that he would look bad, but if he didn’t tell me anything, then he would look arrogant. I could just see the thoughts rolling around in his head like a pair of dice being shaken. I said, "You see, what Palmer is saying is that you have to know your whole self. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. Until you are ready to embrace your weaknesses, I don’t think you are ready to lead. Begin to think about HOW you accomplished your work, then frame your story around that.”

Self-Regard: The Ability to Respect and Accept Yourself

Self-regard essentially involves liking yourself the way you are. This competency ensures the leader has enough self-confidence that others would want to follow them. That their self-worth is balanced with enough empathy that the leader is going to be able to get through good times and bad.

Eleanor Roosevelt is famous for saying, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." People who have positive self-regard have a real sense of identity and work to overcome feelings of inadequacy or inferiority.

In order to lead others, you must have enough confidence to lead yourself. Then, you must have enough empathy to realize that leadership is not about your identity, but your relationships with your followers that matter. Appreciate your positive qualities, and accept your limitations. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to like yourself. After all, if you don’t, why should they?

Reflection Question:

What value would it provide for you to understand your strengths, and what would it feel like for you to embrace your weaknesses?

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